The Enneagram in Love and Work

When self-esteem is low, shame increases when you see the qualities in others that warrant social respect. You have a sense of not meeting the standards that others are capable of meeting, of an inner defectiveness that will eventually be seen. Feelings of low self-esteem, often based on actual losses in the past, perpetuate the illusion that other people possess and enjoy the things that are missing from your life.

Impatient with mediocrity and mundane life. Ordinary feelings are flat in comparison with heightened inner intensity. Avoids the ordinary.

Envy is the belief that others possess the missing element. “They are happy,” “They feel loved,” “They are satisfied.”

From the spiritual perspective, the child lost the connection with essence, or true being, when attention turned to matters of survival.

You can’t always tell if your Six likes you. Sixes question the relationship but don’t want to pull out.

They love who you are, not your image.

You’ll find Sixes creative thinkers, with discriminating minds and refined powers of imagination

take advantage of the moment, a partner should quietly reaffirm faith in the relationship. “I loved you last week. Nothing has changed from my side. I love you now and I will still love you in the same way when this fight is over.”

They don’t demand a lot of attention and are unusually loyal to the people they trust.

They are afraid to love others without the shield of doubt.