The Importance of Being Earnest

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

girls never marry the men they flirt with

Al­gernon

I hope to­mor­row will be a fine day, Lane.

Lane

It never is, sir.

Al­gernon

Lane, you’re a per­fect pess­im­ist.

The good ended hap­pily, and the bad un­hap­pily. That is what Fic­tion means.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

I keep a di­ary in or­der to enter the won­der­ful secrets of my life. If I didn’t write them down, I should prob­ably for­get all about them.

Di­vorces are made in Heaven

Worn out by your entire ignorance of my existence

From the moment I saw you I distrusted you. I felt that you were false and deceitful. I am never deceived in such matters. My first impressions of people are invariably right.

How dare you? This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade.
Gwendolen. [Satirically.] I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different.