A Little Too Far

HIS FINGERS THREAD into my hair as his other hand grasps my hip and pulls me into the curve of his body. It feels so good. So familiar. So easy.
It was always easy with us. I want that back so badly that I let myself get lost in the feeling . . . until someone brushes past us on their way into the bathroom, snapping me out of my fantasy. Because that’s what it is, a fantasy. He took what we had and threw it away. There’s no way I can ever trust him again.
He leans in again, but I splay a hand on his chest before his lips reach mine. “Don’t, Rick. I can’t do this again

hands in his pockets. “How have you been?”
“Great, Rick. I’m just fabulous,” I spit. “Are we done?”
“Look, I know I was a jerk,” he blurts as I spin for the bathroom.
I don’t turn around. “You weren’t a jerk. You were an asshole. There’s a big difference.”
“Fine. I was an asshole. I’m really sorry.”
I start moving again. “Sorry doesn’t cut it.”
“I still love you, Lexie. I can’t get past it.”
There’s a desperate hitch in his voice that claws at my heart and stops me cold.
“Those girls . . . I was a moron.” I hear him moving closer as he talks, but I don’t turn to look at him. “I haven’t touched anyone else since winter break. I don’t want anyone else, Lexie. I want you.” He lays a hand on my hip, and I swear at myself when I shudder. He gently spins me and tips my face up with a finger under my chin, so I’m looking into his eyes. “I always will.”
He leans in very slowly, watching me the whole way. I can’t even tell you why I don’t pull away from him, but as he presses my body between his and the wall, not only don’t I pull away, I kiss him back.

I slide out of the booth. “I’m going to wash my hands. If he comes back, order me the turkey club croissant, light on the mayo.”
The bathrooms are next to the bar, so I have to walk past Rick on my way. His back is to me, and a petite blond waitress is standing next to him, rubbing her arm against his.
“. . . tonight if you want. I can promise you a good time,” she says as her fingers curl against his thigh and squeeze.
My stomach lurches, and I take a wide berth and walk faster, but before I make it to the bathroom door, he calls my name up the hall. I’m tempted to pretend I don’t hear him, but I know he’s coming up behind me fast. He’s close enough he’d know I’m pretending. Which means he’d know he still affects me

Sam sets the bag down, giving me the skeptic’s squint. “You’re sure.”
I nod and pick up the menu. “I had my heart set on the turkey club croissant, and I’m not going to let my dirtbag of an ex deprive me of it.”
We peruse the menus, and, a few minutes later, Rick is back. I look him in the eye this time, and damn, he’s still gorgeous. His straight blond hair is longer than when I saw him last, naked in his bedroom, and partially covers his amazing blue eyes. He looks really classy in the white button-­down and thin black tie they have him in. “Are you ready for drinks?”
I clear my throat. “Iced tea with—­”
“—­extra lemon,” he finishes for me with that sideways smile that always sets off butterflies in my stomach. “I remember

think she’s beautiful, but she always lets her dark hair hang and dresses a little frumpily. She’s generally quieter and more reserved than Sam and tends to blend into the woodwork. I feel like I could talk to Katie, except she’s best friends with Sam, and I’m not sure which loyalty would prevail if push came to shove, so I don’t.

Sam and Katie are two of a revolving group of about ten of us who hung out together all through high school, but they are the ones I’ve kept in closest touch with after we all left for college. Sam is deceptively feminine, with long, auburn waves and ivory skin. And she’s curvy in a way that turns guys’ heads. What you’d never get from her appearance is she’s totally kick-­ass. Confidence wafts off of her like a strong scent. She’s put her brown belt in karate to use teaching self-­defense classes at the women’s shelter for the last few years and is by far the most outspoken of the three of us. But she also isn’t great at keeping confidences confidential. I love her but don’t really trust her, if that makes sense.
Katie, on the other hand, has always struggled with her weight, and, therefore, her self-­esteem. I