Yeung Rob

Thoughts lead to feelings and physical sensations. Feelings and physical sensations shape our behavior. And, in turn, behavior affects our thinking.

More importantly, positive thoughts lead to positive feelings and stable physical sensations. Positive feelings lead to successful behavior. And successful behavior leads to more positive thinking.

And the big problem is that we experience emotions without really considering whether they are appropriate or not.

we feel nervous going into a crucial sales meeting, we are probably going to fail to impress the customer. If we feel miserable before going to a party, we won’t want to talk to people – and that will just reinforce our feelings of unhappiness.

Whenever you can, ask yourself the following questions:
• What emotion did I experience? (If you struggle to identify the precise emotion or feeling that you were experiencing, then take a look at the list in the next section – “Label your emotions”).
• What physical sensations did I experience? Think of a racing heart, sweaty palms, quickening of the breath and so on.
• What were the thoughts that were going through my head at the time?
• Was the emotion appropriate or inappropriate? Was it helpful or hindering me from doing what I wanted to do?

Training yourself to distinguish between fact and feeling will further enhance your selfawareness.

only facts that exist are what you pick up through your five senses – seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting. Everything else is either a thought or a feeling.

Learning to distinguish between the facts and your interpretation/feelings will help you to become more actively aware of your emotions as a precursor to controlling them.

When it comes to strengths and weaknesses, there is no absolute reality. It is all a matter of perception. And, often, what we perceive to be our greatest strength – the skill that we are proudest of – is exactly what others perceive to be our greatest weakness. The reverse can be true too – sometimes we think we aren’t very good at something when others may see it as a real strength of ours.

A vital step in becoming emotionally intelligent is to think about how your behavior may impact on others.