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The greatest gift to others is our own best selves. Thus, paradoxically, if we are to serve relationship well, we are obliged to affirm our individual journey.

But the driven person is never at peace with the soul, for the productivity is a defense against the angst of powerlessness. In the field of intimate relationships, this strategy plays out in being a controlling person or in being attracted to one easily controlled. The partners in such a relationship operate in the realm of power, not love,
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since the psycho-logic of the powerless person is to seize as much power as possible and work life so as not to replay the deep fears felt as a child.

It is very hard not to see oneself as the byproduct of one's personal history