Tara Schuster

You can’t control how the outside world treats you, but you can and must decide how you treat yourself

We get this one human body, and whether you hate it or love it, it’s yours. Any time spent feeling uncomfortable or ashamed of it, past adolescence, is absolutely wasted.

Virginia Woolf wrote about the importance of making space for yourself in A Room of One’s Own. Though written in 1929, her words are just as urgent today. Her most quoted passage is probably that in order to create, in order to pursue her own passions, “a woman must have money and a room of her own,” free from distraction and judgment.

hat I learned from Kate and Professor Laurie is that there’s no point in seeking false idols. Do not look for the approval of someone you think will make you approve of yourself. Approve of yourself first, just as you are (see the last chapter, and Bridget Jones), and if you need support from others, trust the people who are in your corner. These are not always the people you desperately want in your corner. These are not always the people you wish treated your ideas with care. These are not the people about whom you think, Well, maybe they’ll come through this time. Fingers crossed! These are the people who actually show up for you.

I have my “Road Warriors” list. These are people of all ages who have been in similar career situations to my own. These are people I turn to when I need advice or am seeking feedback. They tend to be people who don’t tell me what to do, but instead ask me excellent questions that help guide me.

And then I have my “ABSOLUTELY NOT/ARE YOU CRAZY?” list. These are people who might be wonderful, they might even love me, they might be my actual family, but, historically, they will say something snide or dismissive about my ideas and I just can’t go there anymore.

Do you need someone to treat you gently, or someone to offer guidance on how best to display your precious dried meat? If you need inspiration to get started, go to your Hype Men. If you are looking for feedback on the packaging, go to your Road Warriors. If you don’t want to feel bad about yourself, stay the fuck away from your ABSOLUTELY NOT list.

My problem is that I overplan. With work, I feel like I have to suck the marrow out of every single opportunity

Busy isn’t special. We are all busy. So why label yourself something so common? You’re better than that.

DO YOU EVER GET BOGGED down? Do you ever get so in your own head about your problems and worries that they are all you think about? Do you ever get to a place where it’s hard to see what’s good in life because you are preoccupied with all of the things you haven’t yet accomplished, with all of the issues you need to “fix” about yourself