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Книги
Meg-John Barker,Justin Hancock

Enjoy Sex (How, when and if you want to)

    dash020499цитирапреди 7 месеца
    ‘procrastibate’ (wanking-from-home!)
    dash020499цитирапреди 7 месеца
    ‘biopsychosocial’ when talking about sexual experiences.
    b2592417543цитирапреди 8 месеца
    Rewriting the Rules (Routledge, 2013), The Secrets of Enduring Love (Penguin Random House,
    b2592417543цитирапреди 9 месеца
    Meg-John is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and has published many academic books and papers on topics including non-monogamous relationships, sadomasochism, counselling, and mindfulness, as well as co-edited the journal Psychology & Sexuality. They were the lead author of The Bisexuality Report and they are involved in running many public events on sexuality and relationships, including Critical Sexology. Meg-John is also a UKCP accredited therapist working with gender, sex and relationship diverse (GSRD) clients. In addition to their many academic books, they have now written several books for the general public including Rewriting the Rules (Routledge, 2013), The Secrets of Enduring Love (Penguin Random House, 2016) and Queer: A Graphic History (Icon Books, 2016). They are fre
    b2592417543цитирапреди 9 месеца
    Meg-John is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and has published many academic books and papers on topics including non-monogamous relationships, sadomasochism, counselling, and mindfulness, as well as co-edited the journal Psychology & Sexuality. They were the lead author of The Bisexuality Report and they
    Emil Abdullayevцитирапреди 2 години
    2. You and Sex

    Your messages, background and experiences

    Self-care

    Being present

    Self-touch and solo sex, fantasies, erotica and porn
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    Classic books of fantasies, such as Nancy Friday’s collection of real women’s fantasies, My Secret Garden, or Emily Dubberley’s more recent book of the same, Garden of Desires.
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    Let’s imagine that I am holding an object made of gold. It is so precious, and it is mine – I feel I must hold onto it. I grasp it, curling my fingers so as not to drop it, so that nobody can take it away from me. What happens after a while? Not only do my hand and arm get cramp, but I cannot use my hand for anything else. When you grip something, you create tension and limit yourself.

    Dropping the golden object is not the solution. Non-attachment means learning to relax, to uncurl the fingers and gently open the hand. When my hand is wide open and there is no tension, the precious object can rest lightly on my palm. I can still value the object and take care of it; I can put it down and pick it up; I can use my hand for doing something else.3
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    I have one friend who I can talk to about everything. Whenever we get together we do a kind of bullet point list of whatever’s going on for both of us at the start of the conversation and then we just cover it all!’
    ‘It really helps me to keep a journal where I write out all my thoughts about whatever’s going on. At first I really struggled to actually do this, so now I go to my favourite cafe once a week and make it part of a ritual with coffee and cake, so it’s a really pleasant experience.’
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    I try to notice my feelings and allow them to happen instead of what I used to do – distracting myself by watching TV or whatever. I try to let them happen, maybe write them down or just sit outside somewhere.’
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    So now when I’m feeling scared or sad or angry, I try to just stay with that instead of getting into a whole tangle of feelings about how I shouldn’t be feeling that way.’
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    ‘I read this thing about how often it isn’t the feelings that are hard, but the feelings we have about the feelings!
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    We don’t always need the same thing. For example, when you’re feeling totally wrung out and exhausted, you probably just need to do something kind and relaxing. When you’re struggling with difficult emotions, it can be good to find a way to listen to them which makes the emotions less overwhelming. And when you’re struggling to decide what to do, it can be good to take some time out for reflection.
    Артем Малахивскийцитирапреди 2 години
    That’s why we like to use the word ‘biopsychosocial’ when talking about sexual experiences.
    Alena Davydovaцитирапреди 3 години
    solutions that sex advice offers are pretty narrow because they need to ensure that people keep having sex of a certain kind. The most common advice given takes the following forms:
    Vary the positions in which you and your partner have PIV sex, or vary where you do it or what you wear. This is why a lot of sex manuals are mostly given over to illustrations of people having sex in different positions.
    ‘Spice up’ your sex life by adding other things to the menu, such as sex toys, sharing fantasies, ‘mild kink’ and different ‘foreplay’ techniques. Generally, these things are all about making the PIV sex that people have more exciting, and there are often also warnings in this kind of sex advice about not going ‘too far’ into kink, porn or sex with more than one person.
    Alena Davydovaцитирапреди 3 години
    When we focus on distinguishing proper from not proper sex, it’s all about which bodies are involved and what they should do to each other. When we focus instead on distinguishing enjoyable from less enjoyable sex, the emphasis is much more on how we relate to ourselves and each other, and what we might like to do. In other words, it’s more about how you do things rather than what you do. This is not to say – of course – that everybody would (or should) enjoy all of the possible sexual activities if they just did them in the right way. Rather it’s about giving us clues about how we can do the things that we prefer in the ways that will be most enjoyable.
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